So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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