just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
