Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
