a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
