did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
