Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my poor anus
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
