Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
