Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
