I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
