Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Randomize
