Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
