Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
