votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
