I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
