is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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