I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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