Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
