I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
