i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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