actually, I'm a sock model
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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