Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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