She's JV to your varsity
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize