i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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