he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize