i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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