The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
