you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
