I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
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I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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