Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
