just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
