16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
