Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
