Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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