I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
