We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
