$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
