people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
