she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
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I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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