He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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