I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize