I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You are the jesus of drinking
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
