For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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