No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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