I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
