exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
