apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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