I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
