I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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