You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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