wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
