So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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