We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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