CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
