Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
