I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
