But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Drake has all the answers
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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