He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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