id be glad to
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
