i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize