nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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