She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
