you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
